“Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they
are ever praising you.
Blessed are those whose strength is
in you,
whose hearts are set
on pilgrimage…”
Gracious, and compassionate; slow to
anger and rich in love- this is the character of our God. Being faced with the
trial of accusation to my character, I am told it is unstable and a ‘red flag’
that I have gone to and been in many different places over the past few years.
The reality of this situation is true; the label and accusation according to
this reality is not true.
Jesus is, and has been the Lord of
my life. This means that I am His. The reality of that is what I rejoice in, as
I am practically led from place to place. “I no longer live, but Christ lives
in me” has precedence over any thoughts or wants I might have as to where I can
go or what I will do. Description of His beautiful orchestrations and caring
regard for me are more practically quantifiable than my abilities to understand
details about whatever situations I have been in.
Many psalms reflect on what God had
done- for His people, and in the world. It is as if we understand what actually
has happened when we seek to look at what God has done. Psalm 119:105 says: “Thy
Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path…”; Psalm 36 says, “For with you is the
fountain of life; in your light we see light…”
We might consider that our human understanding
is ample, that we are capable to make judgments about situations and people, but
we are limited and we are weak. While other people have human counselors try and figure their
life out, the Lord has declared that He is: “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace...”
What God has done is beyond me. I
want to look at situations, as Joseph did, and say, “You meant it for evil, but
God meant it for good…” Coming to live with Mike, was a gift. Just as I am
never sufficient in and of myself, the Lord’s grace was sufficient for me. In
every aspect of the timing, way, and situation, the Lord showed that He was the
One giving me so much.
In months to follow, I would sleep
in a big bed that was wider and more comfortable than I could ever have hoped
for. I hadn’t slept on a mattress for months, yet I had the opportunity of sleeping
on a king-sized one now. Mike was an older man, who’d been living in the Biola
neighborhood for more than 15 years before he was introduced to Biola students
that came to his door one day.
Offering him cookies for Christmas,
Mike gave Liz and Anna a couple of cute little keychains he commonly made for
the people he’d met around town. After this, the two Biola student seniors
sought to continue sharing the love of Christ with this man who lived by
himself and loved to show others the work he had done with his hands making wood toys and other things at home.
It was a privilege I had to enter
his home one day, after hearing that he lived on his own and could maybe use a
housemate. The Lord had given me the opportunity at that time to be looking for
a place to live, and He had also given me 119$ from the church I’d gone to
growing up with family in Grass Valley, Northern California.
Mike happened to be ok with the one
hundred and nineteen dollars, welcoming me into his house for that very night
and giving me a copy of his house key. For multiple months in following, the
Lord gave me many such blessings through living in the house with Mike. He
would even seek to make me feel at home- cleaning the sheets for me, and
supplying the bathroom with soap, etc.
There weren’t many rules to living
with Mike. His main guidelines were to wipe down the water from the shower’s
glass after using it, and to feel free to eat whatever food or drink he had in
his fridge. He would even make food for me on a special Saturday morning, or go
out and share the delicious Panda Inn, or Italian restaurant food he liked to
get.
Liz experienced this hospitality,
and shared it with me many times. We would sit at Mike’s table with him, look
at pictures he’d give us, or hear about stories he wanted to tell. Eventually,
we too were given the opportunity of giving hospitality in a similar way as to what
we had been shown. A few months after moving in, the Lord brought another
student, named Denis, into the house.
Sharing what the Lord had given me
through Mike was a wonderfully humbling opportunity. It was alarming for Denis,
and the very first night he wanted to preach at me for hours on end after
learning that I was giving to him the bed I’d been given. I saw it also as a
blessing to have the couch in Mike’s living room to sleep on, and this would
give Mike more financial income.
From cleaning trailers, Mike would
receive some funds. More than this, he began to bring many things back from the
trailers which he wanted to give away or sell.Whether keychains or bottles,
trinkets or bikes, Mike brought back what he thought was good to keep for the
time being. Some of the keepsakes found their way onto the entry-way cabinet,
while others stayed in the garage.
After a few months, Mike brought
back a guitar. Though he’d been good to show me things that he owned, he seemed
to forget that I already owned a working acoustic guitar. I didn’t consider it
to be something I needed to be possessive of, so when this broken guitar went
missing and Mike thought it was me who’d taken it, I simply offered him the one
I had.
For some time leading to that point,
confusion had entered the relationship which Mike, Dennis, and I had about
paying for rent and having financial dealings with one another. Finally, Dennis
began to pay Mike directly, Mike began asking for two hundred dollars from each
of us, and I’d sold a few things for Mike to students at school.
As what we worshipped became more and
more clear to one another, Dennis seemed to become gloomy and emotionless all
the time. The complaints which had begun from before the time he moved in, had
continued throughout every description he had for anything going on in his
life. A constant point of conversation for Mike was about money- federal,
state, or personal deficits, etc.
About the climax of this time, our
church college young adult group came over to the house for a fellowship
meeting. I had learned to prepare Mike for things I wanted to do, asking him
multiple times in different ways at just the right time before I was hoping to
get something done. It was in this way I learned that having bunk beds would be
a bad idea, and I knew I’d need to go soon.
After our college young adult
meeting, I told our leader that I was very close to sharing the Gospel with
Mike. Though I had spoken the truth of Christ to him before, shared about the
relationship God had given me with Himself, and invited Mike to come to Church
with us, his view of Church and Jesus were still based off of the bitterness
Mike had let grow all over him.
Liz
had seemed confused about where I was staying; though I told her I
thought I would be staying in the patio area, Mike added to that confusion by
thinking I would stay in the same bed with Dennis, and only after months did
the reality of me sleeping on the couch come to both of their conscious
realizations.
I’ve many fond memories of going
back to the house, having relationships there, inviting a few friends over for
dinner, keeping the bicycle near the front door, etc. Mike had helped me change
oil on the car, give the car a wax, and offered us a place to park even our
friends’ cars when the street sweeper went by.
Living so close to Liz was a
gorgeous gift; she would come by, stop in and say hi, and practice playing
guitar with me there in that house. We also had many conversations regarding
deep aspects of our heart and thought in relation to one another. It was a
place for Liz to find me, to share what she was feeling, and to contemplate an
understanding of what we were going through.
As the semester was coming to an
end, a week after the college group meeting, Mike asked to see ‘my keys’. He
then proceeded to add to an accusation he had made, that I had taken things
from him. Because of this, I was to get all my stuff out by that day and not
come back. I said it was not true, and thank you for having me stay.
Proceeding to get all the belongings
I had out of the house that morning, I thanked God that he had been having me
park away from the house in the days prior to that. I thanked Him for giving me
a car to place all these things in, and for keeping me from setting my heart on
either staying there or taking and selling things without Mike’s consent.
Mike could have his accusations;
this was another thing to thank the Lord for. Jesus had also been falsely
accused- for the opposite of what was actually going on. Reality was blatantly
ignored as Christ endured the suffering and shame of the cross. Hebrews 12
speaks the Word of the Lord which Liz and I had been turned to focus on each
month of this past year.
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter
of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right
hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition
from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart…”
Little did I know, I would be challenged in the coming days
to not grow weary and lose heart. Though Mike’s claims seemed to weigh heavy,
and reoccur in the mind of those closest to me, it was the Lord Who continued
to affirm that He has all authority over me, and all knowledge of me, and it is
He Who cares for me.
In the past, God has encouraged me to meditate upon Psalm 8
as people are speaking foolishness and trying to capture the attention God has
given me. Even in this case, I can look around at the creation which God cares
for and remember that we are made to glorify Him. From the mouths of infants
and babes He has ordained praise…”
